Your First Therapy Session: What to Expect (From a Therapist Who Gets It)

If you've been thinking about therapy for a while but keep putting it off, you're not alone.

Maybe you've Googled a few therapists, hovered over the "book appointment" button, and then closed the tab. Maybe you've told yourself you'll reach out when things get worse — or when you finally figure out what you'd even say.

I see this all the time. And I want you to know: that hesitation? Totally normal.

Most people don't show up to their first session with a clear sense of what's wrong. They come in tentatively, still half-wondering if they really "need" to be there. I can't tell you how often I hear some version of, "I think I might be kinda... having some anxiety?" or "I'm probably not as bad as your other clients."

You don't have to have it all figured out before you reach out. That's what the first session is for.

So What Actually Happens in a First Session?

Your first therapy session is probably going to be a lot more low-key than you're imagining.

You don't have to lie on the couch (though I do have one, if you want to lie down). I'm not going to ask you to close your eyes and revisit your childhood. And you definitely don't have to walk in with a perfect explanation of everything that's ever gone wrong in your life.

The first session is really just a conversation — a "getting to know you" kind of thing. I'll ask some questions about what brought you in, what's been going on lately, and what you're hoping to get out of therapy. You'll probably fill out a little paperwork beforehand (boring but necessary). And then we'll just... talk.

Think of it like a first date, but with less pressure and way better boundaries. You're seeing if I'm someone you feel comfortable opening up to, and I'm trying to understand how I can best support you. That's it.

You don't have to share everything right away. You get to set the pace. If there's something you're not ready to talk about yet, that's completely fine. We'll get there when you're ready — or we won't, and that's okay too.

What Therapy Is NOT

A lot of people hesitate to start therapy because of ideas about what it's going to be like — ideas that are usually a little off.

So let me clear a few things up.

• Therapy is not someone telling you what to do. I'm not here to hand you a list of instructions or boss you around. My job is to help you understand yourself better and figure out what you want — not to make decisions for you.

• Therapy is not just venting to a stranger. Yes, you'll talk — probably more than you're used to. But it's not like chatting with a friend. A good therapist listens differently. I'm trained to notice patterns, ask the kinds of questions that help you see things from a new angle, and sit with you in the uncomfortable stuff without rushing to fix it. Your friends are great, but they have opinions, stakes in your life, and their own stuff going on. I'm a neutral corner.

• Therapy is not only for people in crisis. You don't have to be falling apart to benefit from therapy. Some of my clients come in because they're overwhelmed. Others come in because they just feel stuck — not miserable, but not thriving either. There's no minimum level of suffering required to deserve support.

"But Is It the Right Time?"

This one comes up a lot.

Maybe you're waiting until things calm down at work. Or until the kids are older. Or until you feel "ready" — whatever that means.

Here's the thing: there's never going to be a perfect time. Life doesn't slow down. And waiting until things get worse usually just means you end up carrying the weight longer than you had to.

If you've been thinking about therapy for a while, that's probably a sign it's worth exploring. You don't need to be in crisis. You don't need to have a diagnosis. You just need to be curious — even a little bit — about what it might be like to have someone in your corner.

A Few Tips to Prepare (Without Overthinking It)

You really don't need to do much before your first session. But if it helps you feel more grounded, here are a few simple things:

Think loosely about why you're coming in. You don't need a script — just a general sense of what prompted you to reach out. "I've been feeling anxious" or "I'm going through a hard transition" is plenty.

Know that it's okay to be nervous. Most people are. You can even tell your therapist that.

Give yourself time afterward. Some people feel lighter after a first session. Others feel a little stirred up. Both are normal. Try not to schedule it right before a big meeting or a stressful obligation.

What If It's Not the Right Fit?

Here's something I wish more people knew: not every therapist is going to be the right match for you. And that's okay.

Therapy works best when there's a real connection — when you feel like your therapist actually gets you. If you leave a first session and something feels off, that doesn't mean therapy isn't for you. It might just mean that particular therapist wasn't your person.

If that happens, please don't give up. Keep looking. The right fit is out there, and it makes all the difference.

And honestly? If I'm not the right fit for you, I'd rather you find someone who is. This isn't about me getting a client — it's about you getting the support you actually need.

You Don't Have to Figure It Out Alone

Starting therapy can feel like a big, vulnerable step. But it doesn't have to be scary.

You don't have to know exactly what's wrong. You don't have to have the perfect words. You just have to be willing to show up — even if you're nervous, even if you're skeptical, even if part of you is still wondering if you really need this.

That's enough. That's always been enough.

If any of this resonated, I'd love to talk. I offer a free 15-minute consultation where we can see if we're a good fit — no pressure, just a conversation.

Schedule your free consultation here.